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【赛斯】当下合理地表达不满

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发表于 2023-3-11 00:43 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
【赛斯课11】当下合理地表达不满,感受情绪的释放


本节中赛斯提到的几个实用的要点有:

①   如果有祷告/发愿的习惯,可以使用祷告词(即正面暗示,使用预期(expectation)来创造现实,预期指的是你深信这件事一定会成)

②   发现正面的改进、表现时,立刻说出来,打破“只提负面情况”的坏习惯。(这是赛斯哲学体系的理论和实践中,独特、重要且连贯的一个要点:“关注什么,就得到什么”、“关注想要的,而非不想要的”

③   被人烦扰、侵犯而产生情绪时,
A当下(不要延迟) 、
B亲自、
C合理且充分地说出来,
D并在此过程中感受情绪的释放。

合理且充分是指:表达的力度与情绪的强度成正比。【总是要这样问自己:"我是只对目前这件事做出反应,因为理应如此;还是我在对这件以及过去其他五件我没有做反应的事在做反应?" 很快你就会发现自己的反应与现在的事件成正比,并将摆脱旧习惯。】

其背后的原理是:相信、信任“身体的意识”,情绪是身体自发性的表达。(“身体意识”是我们每个人具有的除了“显意识心智”、“内在自己的意识”之外的第3种意识。

④   【当你感到高兴、喜悦或有愉快的评论时,在当时也应该表达出这些,在这些情绪满溢时表达出来,因为这样的表达可以满足和逾悦你自己的神经系统,也能逾悦他人。这些表达不应该推迟。】

⑤   【每当你感到任何形式的限制感时,就尝试获得丰盛的感觉来替换】

第477节

1969年4月21日,晚上9点55分,星期一

我为鲁伯提供的 "祷告词"是根据他的需要量身定制的,因此会相当有效。我建议鲁伯在你们的祷告时间使用这份祷告词。在早上,如果他能大声念出来,甚至以一种热情饱满的方式唱出来,那就更好了

The “prayer” in quotes that I gave for Ruburt is tailored to his own needs, and will therefore be quite effective. I suggest that he use this during your prayer periods. In the morning it would be good for him to say this aloud, or even sing it in an exuberant manner.

然后,应集中精力处理手头上的日常事务----他的写作,避免有意识地关注他的健康状况或治疗进展。你注意到的任何正面的改善,约瑟,任何有关他的外表或表现的正面陈述,都应该说出来。如果可能的话,当你注意到这些正面的改善时就自然地说出来。这将避免任何过分的强调,例如有可能出现的“只提负面情况”的过分强调。

Care then should be taken to concentrate on the daily matters at hand—his writing, and to avoid conscious concentration upon the state of his health or the progress of healing. Any positive improvements that you notice, Joseph, or any positive statements concerning his appearance or performance, should be stated. If possible spontaneously when you note them. This will avoid any overemphasis such as might occur if only negative situations were mentioned.

当你感到烦扰时,尽可能向相关的人合理地陈述你的烦扰,但要在感到烦扰的当场及时陈述。当你不以这种方式反应时,烦扰就会堆积起来,然后你就会看起来像是只对一件事做出了反应,但其实也涉及到很多其他事,因为其他事在当时并没有得到适当回应。

When you are annoyed, if possible state your annoyance to the person involved, reasonably, (underlined) but at the time of the annoyance. When you do not respond in this manner the annoyance builds up and you are then tempted to respond to one incident as if many were involved, because the others were not responded to adequately at the time.

例如,在这个特定的例子里,你应该在被烦扰时就给你的邻居打电话。这是一个健康合理的反应。如果每一次在这种情况下你都这样做,烦扰就不会继续。即使真的继续了,你也有理由采取更强硬的措施。

In the particular case for example you should have called your neighbor while you were being annoyed. That would be a healthy and reasonable response. Had this happened in each such case the annoyance would not have continued. Even if it had, you would then be justified in taking more firm steps.

就你而言,你也不愿意以正常自然的方式对烦扰做出反应,这就是为什么局面加剧了。由于你没做反应,你就给了邻居进一步活动的许可。通过正常的反应,你确实会让她学会尊重他人,而且她会觉得你的反应很有道理。

On your part also then there was a reluctance to react to annoyance in a normal natural manner, and this is why the situation built up. By not reacting you gave your neighbor the license to further activity. By reacting normally, you would indeed teach her respect for the regards of others, and she would have felt your reaction quite justified.

你的恼怒本来是可以被理解的,而且被理解的程度与你恼怒的程度成正比。当你不以这样的方式行事时,愤怒就会堆积,一般而言,你这样做对事件的另一方并没有任何帮助。你最终可能因为过度压抑这些反应而突然爆发,而对当事人造成伤害。

Your irritation would have been understandable and in proper proportion to the annoyance. When you do not behave in such a manner, bitterness piles up, and generally speaking you are not helping the other person involved. You may end up doing them harm through repressed reactions that suddenly explode.

当反应与情绪在一件事上不相称时,通常是因为对过去同类事件的反应不足。我现在说的是合理反应。我说的不是在每一次小的不高兴时就大发雷霆。例如,暴力就是这种压抑的结果。

When reactions seem emotionally out of proportion to one event then it is usually because of inadequate reactions to the same kind of event in the past. I am speaking now of reasonable reactions. I am not speaking of flying off the handle, say, at each small upset. Violence for example is the result of such repression.

01

现在对你来说,这个词应该是“丰盛”。我希望你们在有空时,冥想一下你们目前所享有的各种丰盛。空气、水、阳光而言,这些对你们来说是多么自由地可用。甚至例如,刚刚离开这儿的你们朋友身上的丰盛情感能量,因为他也让你们可用,并白白地给予这些情感能量。

For you again now the word should be abundance. I would like you when you have time to meditate on the various kinds of abundance that you do presently enjoy. In terms of air, water, how freely these are available to you, sunlight, even the abundance for example of emotional energy present in your friend who just left here, for he makes it available to you also, and gives of it freely.

在理念上,颜色上,也思考一下“丰盛”。我希望你对“丰盛”这个词放轻松些每当你感到任何形式的限制感时,就尝试获得丰盛的感觉来替换。鲁伯也可以遵循这个建议,这将对他有好处。

Think of abundance in terms of ideas also. In terms of color. I want you to feel easy with the word, and whenever you feel a sense of limitation of any kind, (underlined), then try to get the feeling (underlined) of abundance instead. Ruburt can also follow this advice. It will serve him well.

这样做还会让你在绘画时释放出新想法,让你在处理各种绘画技巧和媒介时有一种自由感,你并不局限于任何媒介。你选择并且拥有选择的自由。

It would also release new ideas in your paintings and give you a sense of freedom in dealing with various techniques and media. You are not limited to any media. You choose and have the freedom to choose.

你了解你年轻的邻居拥有丰盛的精力,你只是不想让她消耗精力是以(损害)你为代价的。她不知道在哪里划定界限才对她有利。如果她所尊重的人能帮她划出一条适当的行为界限,她会很满意。她预期你俩帮她划清界限已有一段时间了。

You understand the abundance of energy possessed by your young neighbor. You simply do not want it expended at your expense. She does not know where to draw the line for her own good. She will be quite satisfied if someone she respects helps her draw a line of adequate behavior. She expected this from both of you for some time.

当你没有坚定或充分地表达你的不满时,她就动摇了。她对自己的行为不满意,但那时又需要你对她做出训诫来提供帮助,并且以后仍然能提供这种帮助。

When you did not firmly or adequately express your displeasure then she wavered. She was not pleased with her own behavior, yet needed support that your reprimand would have provided, and can still provide.

开启对恼人的刺激做出合理且充分的反应,是你防止过度反应和压抑的最好预防措施。

To begin a program of reasonable adequate response, to annoying stimuli, is your best insurance against overreaction and repression.

总是要这样问自己:"我是只对目前这件事做出反应,因为理应如此;还是我在对这件以及过去其他五件我没有做反应的事在做反应?" 很快你就会发现自己的反应与现在的事件成正比,并将摆脱旧习惯。

Always ask yourself “Am I reacting to this present event only, as I should, or am I reacting to this event and five others in the past to which I did not react?” Soon you will find yourself with responses in proportion to present events, and will be free from old habits.

现在,这些几乎不仅仅是你一个人的习惯。虽然我使用的是当下这个案例,但它具有普遍意义。你的神经系统已经准备好在你烦扰时就采取行动,它独立自然地运行,你可以相信它的自发性的反应,这种反应将是成比例的。只有当你通过这种压抑的行为使神经系统超载时,它才会开始似乎是对一个事件起过度反应的循环。

Now these are hardly your habits alone. I am using the present case but it has general implications. Your nervous system is prepared to act when you are annoyed. Left alone and operating naturally, you can trust its spontaneous response. It will be in proportion. It is only when you overload the nervous system by such repressed action that it then begins a cycle of overreaction to what seems to be one event.

02

一段时间内,你必须密切注意你的反应,确保只对当下的情节做出反应。很快,神经系统就会自动适应正常的行为,而这个反应的过程会再次变得自动自然。同样重要的是,尽可能的,在你感到烦恼时就做出反应,而不是推迟行动。你的(神经)系统被清理了。当你开始学习时,你可能会发现自己一开始会反应过度,但这仅仅是由过去未被认出而积累的压抑所造成的。

For a while then you must closely watch your reactions by making sure that you are only reacting to a present episode. Soon automatically the system becomes adjusted to normal action, and the process becomes automatic again. It is also important to react when you feel an annoyance, rather than postpone action, whenever this is possible. Your system is cleared. When you are beginning to learn you may find yourself overreacting initially, simply because of the accumulated, unrecognized charge of past repression.

这方法适用于你,也适用于鲁伯,也适用于你们所有的反应。这是情感生物的自发性的天性,它释放自己,打开创造力的诸多管道。当你感到高兴、喜悦或有愉快的评论时,在当时也应该表达出这些,在这些情绪满溢时表达出来,因为这样的表达可以满足和逾悦你自己的神经系统,也能逾悦他人。这些表达不应该推迟。

This applies to you then in your way, as well as to Ruburt in his way. It also applies to all of your reactions. It is the spontaneous nature of emotional creatures, and it frees the self and opens the channels of creativity. When you are pleased or joyful or have a pleasant comment, then these should also be expressed at the time, and in the fullness of those emotions, for such expression satisfies and pleases your own system, and also pleases others. These things should not be postponed either.

这样,神经系统享受它自己的自发性表达,就会很灵活,因此其感受性会变得更敏锐。推迟反应会导致形成否定的模式,因为你在否定自己的情绪表达。同样地,这一点并不仅仅适用于你一个人。

The system then enjoys its own spontaneous expression, and is flexible and therefore more receptive. Postponement of reaction can then lead to a pattern of rejection, for you are rejecting the expression of your own emotions. Again, this does not apply only to you personally.

然而,你在邻居噪音的问题上跟自己打了一仗,比起睡眠不足,这让你更需要睡眠来消除疲劳。

You fought a battle with yourself however over the noise issue, and this more than the lack of sleep leaves you in need, now, of that refreshment that sleep can bring.

向你的邻居表达不满,并且由你亲自来表达,是极其重要的。鲁伯可以加进来,但重要的是你要亲自表达这种恼怒,并在此过程中感受到这种情绪的释放。

It is extremely important that your dissatisfaction be expressed to your neighbor, and by you. Ruburt may join in, but it is important that you personally express this irritation, and feel its release for yourself in so doing.

只要有可能,这种反应总是应该由当事人直接向引发刺激的人表达,无论采取什么措施。否则,自我就会感觉在某种程度上被欺骗了。同时,随着这种表达,当事人与冒犯者有了直接的接触,这种接触能使双方有更多理解,否则可能不会产生和解。这种互动对双方都很重要。

Whenever possible such reactions should always be expressed directly by the person involved to the person who causes the irritation, regardless of whatever steps may be taken. The self feels cheated otherwise to some extent. Also with such expression there is a direct involvement with the offender, and such involvement can lead to greater understanding on both parts that otherwise might not result. The interaction is important to both parties.

你的邻居并没有真正意识到你情绪反应的本质。因为你过去没有做出充分的反应,你把负面的态度投射到她身上。如果你贯彻你的计划,她会感到被大锤击中。她正在寻找方向。

Your neighbor has no real conscious knowledge of the nature of your emotional reaction. You projected negative attitudes upon her because you had not reacted adequately in the past. She would feel hit by a sledge hammer if you followed through on your plan. She is looking for direction.

我在这儿给出的这些建议,对你个人来说,具有巨大的实用价值。

The suggestions I have given you here can be of great practical use to you personally.

翻译:Hailie
校译:春风
美编:小非蝶

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